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Happy, Baby Won’t You Keep Me… Happy

by | Oct 16, 2017 | 0 comments

Smutober Day 16 | Baby Won’t You Keep Me… Happy

 

never kept a dollar past sunset, it always burned a hole in my pants

Sinnjara, Tricia, Michael (left to right)

Happy…

Baby Won’t You Keep Me…

We all want happiness. Well perhaps most want to be happy, I’m not so sure about Baudelaire. Sometimes I think he reveled in being tortured. Then I think to myself, he was human too, he wanted what we all want.

But how much is your happiness worth? Is it ever worth the cost of other’s happiness? Is happiness like love? Poly people like to use the analogy of love and children. It’s the belief that we have the capacity to love many, just as we have the capacity to love more than one child. I think that’s true. Well, most days I think it’s true.

If that were true, it would seem there’s plenty of love and happiness in the world to go around. We all know that’s not true on the grand scale of things. The world needs more love. Most of us could use more happiness too. I’d like to believe that our own happiness enriches the world. Most days I know that to be fact. Todays is a day, however, full of creeping doubt.

As I learn and grow, that growth sometimes leads me in new directions. I’m not exactly the same person I was five years ago, My Mother’s death changed me. I’m certainly not the person I was 10 years ago, my divorce from Bliss changed me too. Just under twenty years ago, my Father abandoned my Mother for another woman after 40 years of marriage, leaving me to be Mom’s caregiver. No doubt that changed me as well.

Anytime I change, anytime I reach for my own happiness, it leaves destruction in its wake. When I change and grow, it seems to hurt others around me. They still cling to the Michael they loved, adored, or served. When that same exact Michael is no longer there, it hurts them.

I don’t want to sound egotistical. It’s not that I’m such a great man that I ever really deserved the love and adoration they gifted upon me. It’s just that I seem to have a great ability to create co-dependent relationships. And that codependency, I think, leads to great disruption as I go through the stages of life we all navigate.

My very first girlfriend showed up a few years ago, it had been 30 years since I’d had any contact. She said that she still loved me, that breaking up with me was the worst mistake she’d ever made. Bliss, my second wife, still feels she was pushed aside by Serafina. Now, Serafina feels pushed aside by Sinnjara.

How did this happen? I never wanted a monogamous relationship. I always wanted a big happy polyamorous family. But, there’s no doubt that poly relationships are more difficult to navigate than mono. They say communication is the key to poly. I’m told I’m a great communicator. I have special expertise there, I’ve served as a Press Secretary and spokesperson after all. In relationships, I’m also told I sometimes communicate too much. Go figure, right?

In the end, we all want to be happy. We all want the fulfilled life of our dreams. But, how does a person justify seeking happiness if it always has to come at a cost?

Sinnjara, Michael, Serafina

Well I never kept a dollar past sunset,
It always burned a hole in my pants.
Never made a school mama happy,
Never blew a second chance, oh no

I need a love to keep me happy,
Baby, baby keep me happy.

Always took candy from strangers,
Didn’t wanna get me no trade.
Never want to be like papa,
Working for the boss ev’ry night and day.

I need a love to keep me happy,
I need a love, baby won’t ya keep me happy.
Baby, won’t ya keep me happy.
Baby, please keep me

Never got a flash out of cocktails,
When I got some flesh off the bone.
Never got a lift out of Lear jets,
When I can fly way back home.

I need a love to keep me happy,
Baby, baby keep me happy.

Rolling Stones

Happy, Mick Jagger / Keith Richards

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About The Author

Michael Samadhi

Michael Samadhi – Joy of Kink Editor – author, lifestyle dominant, sex blogger, sex educator, photographer, artist, pansexual, sapiosexual, polyamorist, audiophile, historian, pagan/Buddhist, former political activist, and community organizer. I tied up a girlfriend (consensually) the first time back in 1980, and it’s been a hell of a ride ever since.

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